Warrior Cats: A RPG

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Battleborn
 Posted: Apr 3 2018, 10:04 PM
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Batts was due in a quarter-moon, and the generally stoic warrior was not enjoying the amount to which he had grown. Sure, there was something to be said for the loving tenderness that Nobleground treated him with as a result of the growing pregnancy (and the general care they were known to show each other these days) but the downside was that he was bloated and couldn't move as much and smelled like milk and queen.

Ugh. Dysphoria was kicking his ass and he was ill-tempered even more so than usual. So the pregnant tom sat beside the entrance to the nursery with a glare on his face and a tightness around his eyes that relayed his current grumpiness to anyone who cared to know.

It was only a matter of time before his sharp tongue decided to lay waste to some more clanmates.

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southskies
 Posted: Apr 5 2018, 08:19 AM
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Southskies had recovered enough from her near-death experience to return to the nursery, but the trauma from the birth still lingered. It showed through in the weary way she navigated the camp, her steps slow and almost clumsy - like she was walking underwater. It wasn't just a tiredness of the body that dragged her down - her mind, too, was still caught up in the terror of giving birth, half-remembered snatches of pain flooding into her dreams each night. She would wake panting, throat raw from screaming, three pairs of frightened eyes peeking up at her from the curve of her belly.

She was curled in a patch of warm sunlight just outside the nursery, watching her daughters scuffle in the dirt a few tail-lengths away. Battleborn's pawsteps drew her attention - just a glance at first, then a longer look at the warrior-queen settled onto his haunches at the mouth of the den.

His pregnancy had come as a shock to Southskies, but in the wake of her almost-death she hadn't found it in her heart to care. She was recovering now, though, and with her newfound strength that cutting anger began to rouse. It opened one sleepy eye and shuddered, slowly shaking off the remnants of deep sleep that clung to it stubbornly.

Whatever had happened after she had fought with Nobleground and Battleborn had obviously led to them getting closer. Southskies didn't know how to feel about it, nor did she know why she cared so much - neither cat was interested in her concern.

Battleborn's face was like a storm, like dark clouds looming overhead, threatening to unleash what they held within. It wouldn't be rain that the prickly tom unleashed, she thought, but words.

"Wanna talk about it?" Southskies didn't know where the words came from, and they seemed to surprise even her. She paused, the shock of it clear on her face, and blinked a few times before she shook her head. "Never mind."


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Battleborn
 Posted: Apr 8 2018, 03:36 PM
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Battleborn was frankly shocked by Southskies continued attempts to... what? Interact with him, he supposed. He was rude and harsh, all sharp edges and scowls, and though Nobes did his damnedest to assure him that he was worthy of love and all that, he was still... unconvinced. So he stayed off to the side, stuck to his own guns, and tried to ignore the mounting evidence that he was, in some manner, beginning to become a Thunderclanner.

Southskies was a part of the equation that made him uneasy, on edge and suspicious, and when she offered to listen to him or talk to him or whatever, the battle-scarred tom frowned deeply.

But he didn't snap at her, didn't retort, and even when she said a quick never mind, he decided to ignore that and blurt out the first thing he thought of.

"I don't know how to love a child."

God. Damn. It. He groaned, and buried his face in his paws. It must have been the hormones that made him all... confused. And open. And squishy. Dammit.

"I - ugh. I didn't know my parents and I was witness to exactly zero parent-child relationships. It is utterly beyond me."

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southskies
 Posted: Apr 12 2018, 04:30 PM
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If the unpredictability of her offer startled Southskies, Battleborn's answering admission was something else entirely. Something unnameable in its depth, so deeply shocking that she could only turn her head and stare at him with mute disbelief.

She came out of it slowly, the surprise in her eyes fading to quiet understanding as Battleborn went on. "I don't know what it's like where you're from," she said, quietly this time. She didn't look at him when she spoke; instead her gaze shifted across camp, to her small cluster of daughters tussling with one another in the dirt. "I mean, I imagine I had it easier than you did growing up. That there's a lot I don't understand." The words were as close to an apology as Battleborn would ever likely get - he'd already received one from her in this lifetime, a second was beyond imagining. "But my mother died when I was born, and Foxscar was..."

Her eyes darkened as she trailed off. Her claws dug into the dirt, teeth grinding near-audibly as her thoughts turned to Foxscar. Not her father, Foxscar.

"Well, you know what he was. What he did to-" Southskies' voice caught, hitching on the name of her real father. Coalstep had been more a parent to her than Foxscar ever had, and now he was gone. His life snuffed out by the very cat who had sired her, abused her, tormented her. She forced the memories aside, tearing the image of Coalstep's bloody, too-still body from her mind before it had a chance to summon tears. Her eyes caught on her daughters again, and she smiled. "You'll know. Trust me. It won't be easy at first, but you'll know how to love them." Watching her daughters play, it didn't take long for the darkness to come flooding back.

"I was going to kill the kits, you know. When I found out I was pregnant." She admitted it so softly it was no more than a breath ghosting past her lips, just shy of too quiet for Battleborn to hear. "I didn't want to die like my mother, so when I realized I was pregnant I asked Telly to give me something to kill the kits before they had a chance to grow. Before I started showing."

".... please don't say anything to anyone. I never told Jack or Dusty that."


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Battleborn
 Posted: Apr 16 2018, 12:28 AM
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She wasn't wrong. He thought that those here had an easier time - not in all ways, and not always, but he had been raised as an object. A sense of self was something he only found later in life, forged in fire and blood and forced to bite his tongue until it scarred. He hadn't had the luxury of choosing his interests, of having preferences, and it was only with the strange friendship of his now-mate that he had begun to make progress towards being more than angry and bitter and... nothing.

It was alarming how empty he realised he was, in moments where something else was possible. And right now, when South admitted quietly that she had thought about aborting the children she now doted over, Batts felt... relieved. Like someone else understood.

It was an alarming feeling, and his breath hitched uncomfortably. He wasn't going to cry, but his eyes were suspiciously wet and he glared at the dirt until the sensation abated.

"I won't say anything."

Why? He wasn't sure. He shouldn't feel indentured, and he didn't, he just - ... understood. Which was weird.

"... I am afraid. Of ... making a mess, I suppose. How are you supposed to keep from passing on your trauma when you barely know which parts of you are the trauma?"

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