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 please, no more, claymore remembers again, open
Claymore
 Posted: Apr 9 2018, 08:49 AM
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He had been hunting since early in the morning, the new camp was coming together beautifully, but there was still a ways to go. With Valeriansong's new litter it seemed like the fresh kill pile never stayed full for very long, so he had made a point to always go hunting early in the morning.

The thought of the pretty calico she cat brought a smile to his face as he caught another plump fish in his talons. He turned gracefully in the water, barely making a ripple and padded back to shore where a small pile of fish awaited him. It had been on another shore like this one that he had met Val for the first time.

He had been floating in darkness, he didn't know for how long, didn't much care either. He just recalled feeling at peace, there was nothing, no pain, no sadness, just a calm tranquility. It had been pulling him towards a place of rest. He didn't know how he knew that, he just knew that had he gone to that place, he would have been able to rest.

As his days in RiverClan grew, he had often revisited these memories in an effort to try to recover the ones he was unable to reach. Supernatural called it amnesia. Each time he recalled his time in that place, he had started to remember something he had forgotten. He had been so very close to going to the resting place, been a mouse length away when he had heard a song. It had been a sweet melody that had called to him drawing him away, bringing him back from the brink of death. When he had opened his eyes she had been there. Valeriansong.

He had been scared, he didn't remember anything, he didn't know where he came from or who he was. He reacted, he snarled at her, a she cat who despite growling back still looked at him with concern in her eyes. She had found him, he realized she had been the one to call him back. He supposed that was when he had started to have feelings for her.

She was the embodiment of compassion, her warmth and kindness touched everyone. She had so much love to give, and she gave it all asking for nothing in return. He couldn't help it.

Before he had realized it, he had started to look for her, just wanted to talk to her. He wanted to know what she was thinking, what were her dreams? He would bring her fresh kill sometimes hoping to see her smile, if for only a moment.

Before he had realized it, he had begun to fall for her, but when the day came, when the realization had washed over him like an ocean wave on the shore, he was horrified. He had no right to like her, what could he offer her? She was the daughter of Hollowstar, a most beloved member of the clan. Her sister was Supernatural the medicine cat, she was the heart of the clan.

Who was he? He was a former loner who had washed up on the shores of RiverClan half dead with no memory of who he was or where he had come from. No, he would never dare approach her with his feelings, he wasn't good enough for her, being her friend was already more than enough.

These thoughts left a bitter taste in his mouth as he made his way towards camp. He padded in and dropped his catch on the pile, looking at the nursery with a smile, knowing Valeriansong would be there resting having just kitted days before.

The thought brought with it a a twinge of pain that exploded in his head like white fire. His legs buckled and with a roar he fell to the ground, eyes closed tightly willing the pain away.

The fractured images came too fast, they made his stomach turn. There was fire, the smell of burning flesh. There was so much blood, there was always blood, it went up to his knees. He was calling out to someone, he was crying out to them, his throat hurt from the fire. He was begging them to stop, he was running towards them, he was pleading with everything he had, he didn't want to do this, he couldn't let them do this, how could they do this! How could she do this? She? The thought of a female was burned away as still more images flashed before his eye too quickly, only able to see a few.

Mountains, coyotes, the harsh tang of iron and blood. He was crying out, as he was held down. He was looking at someone, his heart was breaking, he knew them. He roared, he was fighting, he was being tortured, he was falling, he had fallen into water. He had fallen into a river.

He lay in the middle of camp, tail lashing, limbs thrashing, and in the span of a minute, it was over, he lay still, his sides heaving, his eyes wet with tears.

He was remembering, but he wasn't sure he wanted to. Who had he been?

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supernatural
 Posted: Apr 9 2018, 10:08 PM
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She wasn't compassionate, not like her half-sister and her gentle touches, her love and respect for others. Supernatural was harsh and growling, a grumbling mess of half-thought through grunts and dismissals. She was not Val, nor even a shadow of her. So when she saw Claymore clearly in the throes of some terrible recollection, she didn't hesitate to approach without care, her expression neutral at best.

"The hell's wrong with you?"

Ah yes, a picture of a merciful and compassionate healer. God damn.

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burnout
 Posted: Apr 9 2018, 11:18 PM
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well, he definitely wasn't super and he sure as shit wasn't valeriansong, but the deputy usually had compassion and kindness in spades for his clanmates. he wasn't the nicest or the most thoughtful and tended to avoid most of them out of his own misguided fears and lack of socialisation, but he was generally there when they needed him.

not too unlike their crabby healer sometimes.

anyway, claymore's cry had startled the snow-furred serval out of a nap, burn poking his head out of the warriors den with a curious but definitely grumpy expression on his face, though it quickly shifted from that to mild concern as he got to his feet and padded out, stifling a yawn and coming to a halt beside his much smaller clanmate, shooting her a glance. "uh, s'he gonna be alright?" the serval drawled, stare drifting back to claymore.

he had very clearly not been alright at the moment that burn had appeared what with all the writhing and thrashing, but now the wildcat was quiet, though he looked pretty severely distressed.


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hollowpaw
 Posted: Apr 10 2018, 07:15 AM
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RiverClan


Hollowpaw admittedly was not too familiar with Claymore - however, he did happen to be familiar with the massive fishing cat’s natural fatherly demeanor. The tom was a welcomed source of comfort and paternal guidance for many of the fatherless kits in RiverClan - Hollowpaw himself included, seeing how Whisperingwind was barely present at all in his or Opticpaw’s lives. It was why seeing Claymore with a tear-drenched face, writhing on the ground as though seizing, was a horrific sight.

The silver furred apprentice carefully approached his mother from behind, his tail sweeping low against the ground in anxious sways while his round, green stare flitted from her to Burnout. Part of him wondered if they were just going to sit there and watch - it was why he sauntered over to the wildcat’s flank, putting one small paw on his shoulder as if trying to shake him from his trance. “Claymore? What’s wrong?

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Claymore
 Posted: Apr 16 2018, 03:54 AM
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As quickly as the images had brought with them the pain and horror that always dogged in their wake they were gone, leaving him chilled, feeling shellshocked at what his mind had made him witness to. He didn't understand the images, they were horrible, they served only to bring to him more questions that he had no answers to. They made him afraid of himself, the more he saw the more he came to understand that he had been privy to something truly barbaric, something no creature should ever have to witness.

He opened his stormy blue eyes and looked around at the camp, dappled in pretty sunlight. Around him stood his clanmates, Burnout, the deputy, his ruby eyes confused yet concerned. Supernatural, in her own way concerned though she showed it in her own thorny manner, and sweet Hollowpaw. The son of the Nat, who laid his paw on his shoulder wanting to know what ailed the wildcat.

The touch was meant in kindness yet it brought to mind the face of another cat, a mirror of his own but so much smaller and with eyes the color of spring grass. In the next heartbeat the image was gone and it was just Hollowpaw, and he felt his heart break, as if he had just lost something precious to him, but he didn't know what or who it was that he had lost, nothing made sense to him anymore, he didn't know what was happening to him, who he had been, and he was starting to think he would never want to remember. Not if it hurt this much, he had forgotten for a reason had he not?

"I am alright Hollowpaw, just a bad stomache, nothing your mother can't help with, right? She is the best medicine cat there is?" he said, his accented voiced pained.

He hauled himself to his paws, shaking.

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supernatural
 Posted: Apr 17 2018, 02:37 PM
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"Hollowpaw, the next time you get close to someone who isn't control of their body, you risk getting hurt or hurting them."

She scolded her child naturally, not spiteful but simply stern when it came to the safety of her admittedly far more fragile offspring. She had seen enough of her son's suffering to last a lifetime, and once Claymore was responsive, she narrowed her eyes at him. The only reason she had helped the fishing cat was because of her sister's prodding, and she couldn't pretend to give a shit now. Head injuries were tricky - her own caused her a great deal of suffering even now, with headaches and sleep issues galore.

She was lucky to be alive. Those with memory loss were far worse off. She only struggled from time to time with forgetfulness.

"Claymore. Tell me your name and where you are, what you ate for your morning meal, and the name of one of our deputies."

That would give her an idea of where his head was at, although she didn't imagine she could do much but demand he rest. Feverfew might help with any headaches, but she huffed as he claimed that his stomach hurt.

"Don't be condescending to my son. He's nice, but he's not stupid." Probably not. "Tell me where you have pain and how it hurts."

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hollowpaw
 Posted: Apr 17 2018, 06:39 PM
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決定 the moon

RiverClan


There was concern and fear blazing bright in Hollowpaw's eyes, but he could only bring himself to regard Claymore with a brisk nod as he began to rise. The bulky fishing cat was clearly trying to mask his emotional turmoil with his words, but the silver apprentice could see right through it. His body ached with empathy, mind racing as he tried to determine if there was any other way to help.

That was when his mother spoke up. At her words, Hollowpaw immediately and visibly wilted, his tail falling between his legs as he quickly scuttered off to the side, ears pinned back. It was often that he forgot he wasn't his mother's apprentice, and understandably so - he clearly had no idea what he was doing, endangering Claymore like he had! Reckless featherbrain, he thought bitterly, his throat tightening.

While he continued to worry greatly for his clanmate, it seemed as though Hollowpaw's train of thought had taken a different turn as he stared down at his paws, his mind once again drifting off to a darker place as he contemplated his place in the clan. He often felt he didn't belong, like a square stone in a round hole, but as of recently the question throbbed in his head like a persistent song.

Would he ever manage to prove himself?

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hollowpaw ♂ - 9 moons - riverclan - blue silver tabby
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burnout
 Posted: Apr 17 2018, 08:28 PM
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as claymore's blue eyes flickered open, they spun around camp before landing solidly on hollowpaw. seemed he was alright then. the deputy moved slowly around the other tom, offering his shoulder in a silent gesture to help steady him up.

behind him, super's words were sharp, but short, as she reprimanded her son keeping her scolding brief before she moved on to the fallen warrior.

"don't sweat it kid," burnout offered quietly as the child visibly wilted, face crestfallen. "we all make mistakes."

having said his piece, the deputy turned to super, "what else do you need us to do?" he asked.


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Claymore
 Posted: Apr 18 2018, 03:06 AM
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Claymore yearned to bark a retort to Supernatural, no matter how much he respected the she cat who he owed his life to, it wasn't right that she yelled at the kid like that, not when he had just been trying to help. Though he could see her side of it, he did agree with the things she said. There was no way of knowing how someone would react going through what he had just gone through, and they did run the risk of hurting themselves or others, but the look in the young silver tom's eyes had him wanting to glare at Supernatural.

Condescending? He wanted to defend his actions but knew that Supernatural was the expert here, and the apprentice was her son. What right did he have to tell her how to parent her own child? Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that she should have handled it differently.

When she asked him the questions, he looked at for a moment as if asking her why she wanted to know when he said, "My name is Claymore, we are in RiverClan camp. I had a squirrel for breakfast, and one of our deputies is Burnout the other is Cedarheart."

Where did he have pain? He looked away from her penetrating green gaze, his heart hurt, like an old ache that was dulled but was starting to hurt more and more, "Nothing hurts, I'm just remembering more, maybe my head a little bit, around my ear, but that's it. It's like I have this weight in my chest that won't go away, and everytime I try to think of what caused it, my head goes all weird, like its trying to stop me from lookin."

He didn't know how else to explain what he was feeling.

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W o l f
 Posted: Apr 24 2018, 11:13 PM
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supernatural
 Posted: Apr 24 2018, 11:25 PM
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She wouldn't back down from scolding her child's dangerous actions - truth be told, she didn't trust Claymore. She didn't want Hollow getting hurt, and so once she nodded briskly to Claymore's response (no memory issues, no pain, nothing to treat - there's nothing wrong, it's all in his head). She couldn't do anything for him, so she shook her own head at the deputy's inquiry.

"Nothing. He can remember fine, there's no pain, and he's alert. I'd think his head was injured, but head injuries cause more issues. So it's not something I can treat."

She shrugged - it wasn't her problem anymore. Instead, she blinked dismissively at Claymore and moved to stand by her son (who was already around her size - damn malnutrition). Her tail touched his flank in a ghost of an apology, and then she was gone.

This wasn't her problem.

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burnout
 Posted: Apr 25 2018, 01:30 AM
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RiverClan


once the warrior was on his paws and steady, burnout stepped away as well. if super deemed him fine, or mostly fine, then who was burn to argue? he wasn't any kind of healer.

besides, they all had their demons that they were running from and if some were a bit more visible than others, then that was that. "you should probably eat something and then rest." the deputy suggested. "you're off patrol and hunting duty for the rest of the afternoon." there was no real order in his tone, no true authority. it was as burn had offered it, a suggestion and nothing more.

he offered hollowpaw another soft blink of sympathy and then he was gone too, leaving the two to find something to do while he returned to his nap.


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3 1/3 years | riverclan deputy of civil affairs | albino serval
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